another monday? like cmon guys. aren’t we past these things? can’t the week just start on Tuesdays?
well if we must be here, let’s jump the week off on the RIGHT FOOT and focus on being our absolute best selves. it’s the least we can do right? and with that – installment number 2 of Lessons I’ve Learned (so you don’t have to).
let’s just do this, shall we.
LESSON 1: If you spend money, you don’t have it anymore.
this is QUITE THE SHOCKING revelation, to me. had i known that every time i swiped my debit card i’d have less money than before, i’d probably be going to less dinners and buying less flights….ok no i wouldn’t but i’d have sacrificed something else so i could actually *afford* those things. one of my main goals lately is getting My FiNaNcEs iN OrdeR (ugh) because i’m a very mature responsible adult with a savings account, great credit score and no debt HAHAHAHA. but THATS THE GOAL! less drunk purchases on Amazon (it’s my version of a drunk dial, but i get a present for myself 2 days later instead of regret in the morning!) and more “do i need this?” questioning so as to prevent needless purchasing. it’s time i spend money wisely. which is LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE. but it’s time.
LESSON 2: It’s important to be selfish … in a way.
Now, i’m not urging you to take over conversations, not listen to your friends, only prioritize your happiness, etc. but i do believe there are some times in our weeks (or days even!) where we need a minute to be totally left alone or not needing to explain ourselves. Why don’t i want to go to happy hour? Maybe i just don’t wanna. Why am I having ice cream for dinner? Cause it’s sounds delicious and it’s only 2 scoops. Are you still watching Ozark? Why yes, Netflix, i’m obviously watching this obsessively amazing tv show in the privacy of my own home. Take some moments of your day, your week, whatever to do something without having to answer to someone. If you need a little something special to make life easier, you owe it to nobody to explain. Especially if it’s ice cream.
LESSON 3: The strongest people don’t always appear as such.
I have a person in my life who I love very dearly and man have they been through the ringer in life over the past couple years. Just gettin hit left and right wam-bam and expected to keep going with a smile on her face – which, to note, she does! this gal is hysterical, optimistic, always willing to help, very positive and everyone in her presence is happier when she’s around. So what’s the problem Ash?! I know. She, like all of us, have times when things aren’t so easy, when she breaks down a bit more and i made the mistake of having little patience with this as though she’s on top of the world having everything go her way. NO, self. Bad move. COMPASSION was the answer, not impatience, and I failed. I was annoyed and completely uncaring of what she was going through and having since apologized, hope that the next time shes feeling a bit weaker or sad, i can show her overwhelming empathy and love instead of annoyance at her short fuse.
LESSON 4: Cancel the free trial subscription before it charges your card.
You win, Cinemax.
LESSON 5: ASK! You never know what the answer may be.
If it’s true you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, then I need to start playing basketball…soon! Lately i’ve been doing this thing called “ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT” in a cool confident manner and i’m 10/10 on receiving said requests. Some examples:
- A meeting I wasn’t invited to. “Hey! Could I sit in on this? Seems beneficial for me to be there and I wasnt invited”. Turns out – I was supposed to be, good thing I asked!
- Checking for accuracy on my SkyMiles account (hey i’m close to Silver status!!): “i really think there should be another flight on there to/from Raleigh around “x” date. Can you just double check for me?” – whaddya know, they missed not only 1 flight, but TWO because my name was spelled incorrectly and it gave me more miles and even closer to Silver!
- Requesting clarity on something that sounded really offensive: “Sorry what exactly do you mean by that?” resulted in me finding out that the statement said was totally misused and the insult was actually a great compliment but worded incorrectly.]
- Asking a GUY on a date that i always had a crush on and was recently single: “Hey! Great to see you the other night – next time, you and i should get a drink sometime if you’re interested :)” – annnnnnnnnnd it worked. (keep you posted, i’ll sabotage it in a week.)
- EVEN an increase in salary: “Listen, I know it’s not much but this “x” amount would really make a difference in my happiness here especially considering my performance with ____ and ____.” Guess who got the extra amount requested?
so ASK. what’s the worst that could happen? At the end of the day, these all result in a better understanding of each others points of views and sides of a particular matter, and regardless of the answer, that’s a great goal to accomplish anyway.
I hope I help provide some clarity for you guys. My life is certainly not perfect, I’m lightyears away from being that myself, I learn consistently how to be better for different people, scenarios, or conversations and i hope this continues forever. If i’ve said it once, i’ve said it a million times but – we’re all just doing the best we can! xx Ashli